Nathaniel and I went to a Mexican restaurant
for supper. From there we went to the funeral parlor. It was 6:45 p.m., fifteen
minutes before the time for public viewing and the parking lot was filled. When
Nathaniel and I went into the viewing room, Matthew and Traci were having a row
with the funeral director’s assistant. The assistant, Mr. Tomblin, is an older
man. His own wife had died less than a year ago. He is rotund with a flushed
face, dressed in a black suit, white shirt, and black tie. He was fidgeting
nervously.
“Why is my mother lying in a metal casket
that looks like a war surplus ammunition box? I won’t stand for this. I will
not have the people of this town come to see her laid out in a tin can. Take
this casket out of here and when you come back, you had better have her in
something that looks like fine wooden furniture. Don’t let people come in here
until you do.”
“But sir, that is the coffin your father
chose when he made the arrangements for the funeral.”
“That cheapskate doesn’t want to spend any
more money than he has to. I suppose he is the one who told you that we didn’t
need a family limousine for the day of the funeral. Well, I am not going to
drive myself to the funeral home and the cemetery in a rental car like I was
going to Walmart. There had better be a limousine to pick up five adults and
two children at the motel tomorrow. Now, roll that scrap metal box out of here
and bring my mother’s body back to this room in something we won’t be ashamed
for people to see. GO!!”
I went into the little room off the viewing
room where there were some chairs and a coffee pot with foam cups. I sat down
in a chair and buried my face in my hands and sobbed uncontrollably. I was
embarrassed that Matthew would talk that way to a man I had known all the years
we had lived in this town. I knew that the man could not move a body by
himself, that the body and clothes would all have to be straightened again
after it was put in another coffin. I was humiliated that one of my sons would
change the arrangements that I had made.
I was angry because Laura and I had
discussed the topic of funerals and the probability that one of us would have
to arrange a funeral for the other. We agreed that too much money was spent on
a dead corpse in a box that was going to be buried in the ground. The real
Laura was now absent from the body and present with the Lord. To spend a couple
thousand dollars more on a wooden casket is vanity and a violation of the
values Laura and I had shared throughout our life together. On top of it all,
Matthew wouldn’t be paying for the fancy casket and family limousine. I would.
Nathaniel put his hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t cry for that jerk, Dad. Cry for Mom.”
Philip and Molly arrived and wanted to know
why the people were being kept outside and where was the body. I didn’t feel
like telling them. I just shrugged my shoulders and buried my face and let
myself cry for Laura, for losing dear Laura.
When they brought Laura’s body back into the
viewing room, it was in a wooden casket with inlaid wood and trimmed with gold
handles and hardware. “Please, Lord,
don’t let it be real gold or even gold plating.” Traci inspected the
coffin. Then, with a look of satisfaction, she left.
Molly lifted Billy and then Polly up so they
could see Mamaw Laura. Then she left with them. I sat with our sons in chairs
across from the coffin. Matthew looked pleased with himself. Tom was smirking.
Philip and Nathaniel put up a brave front. As the people walked by us, many
said things to us, but I didn’t hear or it didn’t register in my consciousness.
Some of them pointedly walked by me and spoke only to the boys. One
mean-spirited woman from my church, Mrs. Grimsley, actually said to me, “Well,
are you satisfied?”
About 8:15 Nathaniel had all that he could
stand. He stood up and stomped out, shoving people out of his way. The people
kept pouring in and the funeral home decided to stay open until 9:30 p.m. I
wanted to believe that so many came to the viewing because of their regard for
Laura. I feared that the real reason was curiosity created by the gossip. I was
grateful when it was over.
When I came into the house, Nathaniel was not there.
I guessed that he was out walking through the streets of the town. I left the
door unlocked for whenever he would come in. I went to the bedroom, undressed,
and lay in the bed continuing the sobbing that had been interrupted. All that
had happened and all that I was feeling made me need Laura to talk with me. I
cried even more for the dear one I had lost.
The next morning the sanctuary was filled to
capacity for the worship service. In the bulletin were the notice about
refreshments after the service, and the notice about the funeral. Also in the
bulletin was the notice of a called Session meeting on Wednesday at 7 p.m. I
had not been informed and had not agreed to the calling of a special Session
meeting. Strictly speaking it was not legal without my consent. Also, a called
Session meeting is for a specified purpose, but that purpose was not stated in
the bulletin.
As I began the sermon, the excitement of what
had been occurring during my visit with Mrs. Wrangle returned to me. I preached
about the power of God to save our souls and to save us from our sins. I
preached about the power of God to heal even when every medicine has failed. I
quoted Hawkeye in a M*A*S*H episode when he answered Father Mulcahey’s
question, “Do you believe God answers prayer?” “I don’t know, Father, I do know
that sometimes I do things in the operating room that I really don’t know how
to do.” Yes, the Son of man has come with healing in His wings. Then why
doesn’t He heal everyone who prays to Him? The answer is that for some He
exercises an even greater power, the power over death itself. I’m sure my wife
Laura prayed many, many times for God to heal her of cancer. For His own
purposes and glory, God’s answer was, No. BUT, the moment Laura died, she was
taken up to glory to receive the inheritance God has kept for her and the home
that Jesus has been preparing for her. She is now free of pain. God has wiped
away all tears from her eyes. “O death, where is thy sting; O grave, where is
thy victory?”
After the service I went to the Fellowship
Hall. A lot of people said things to me, but I was so drained from the service
and sermon that I really didn’t know what they were saying. One woman’s remarks
cut me to the quick.
“I think it was very poor taste for you to
bring your wife’s sufferings and death into the sermon.” I was looking around
the Fellowship Hall for Mr. Fike. I wanted to ask him about the irregular
manner in which the special Session meeting was called. I also wanted to know
the purpose of the meeting so that I could be prepared, but I did not see him.
I left and went home. Nathaniel wasn’t there.
I took a couple slices of cold pizza from the refrigerator and fixed a cup of
instant coffee. After that repast, I went back to the bedroom, undressed
because I still had to wear my suit to the funeral, and took a nap. I forgot to
set the alarm. I was awakened by Nathaniel shaking me.
“Get up Dad, it is only half an hour until
the funeral.”
I hurriedly dressed and ran out to the car. I
had my Bible and service book with me. The organist had already started playing
the prelude when I entered the sanctuary. I looked for Philip.
“Did you ask your brothers who wanted to
speak of their memories of your Mom?”
“All but Tom want to speak. Tom says he would
be too nervous. Hard to believe that of a lawyer.”
I wished now that I had asked some other
minister to conduct the funeral and burial service. I began the service by
reading the obituary. I had an opening prayer. Then I read the verses on death
and the resurrection that Laura had chosen. Next was the congregation singing
Psalm 23.
At that point I invited Philip to come
forward and share some memories of his mother. Philip emphasized that his
mother’s life goal was to make a happy home and raise children in an atmosphere
of love. Matthew emphasized that their mother was the only one they could go to
because their father was always so busy with work. Nathaniel said that his
father and mother centered their lives and the family on Jesus Christ. He said
that his mother had said repeatedly that she chose their father because she
wanted to live with a man who was kind and good. He also recounted that his
mother wrote to him every week until she could no longer do so.
The remainder of the service was a blur. At
the cemetery I went through the prayers and committal of the body to the grave.
It was almost more than I could endure. Philip came up to me afterward and told
me that we were going to the Italian restaurant in the next town and that the
reservation was for 7 p.m. When Matthew found out that the restaurant did not
serve drinks on Sunday, he was more than a little bit annoyed. Traci put a
fifth of vodka in her purse.
The food was not anything special. It was
apparent that the eatery’s main attraction was that it served drinks the other
days of the week. The fact that there weren’t many people in the restaurant
seemed to substantiate that opinion. After the meal, Matthew stood up.
“Okay, I won’t beat around the bush. Most of
us have to head back to our homes tomorrow. Before we leave, I’d like for Dad
to tell us what is in Mom’s will. I believe he is the executor of the will.”
This caught me by surprise and I was annoyed.
We had just put Laura’s casket into the ground several hours ago and here are
her sons asking to know what she left them in her will. I stood up.
“Sons, in your mother’s will it says that if
I die before she does, then everything she owns is to be divided equally among
her sons. If she dies first, whatever is in both our names – car, bank
accounts, etc. goes to me. Whatever is her sole possession is to be divided
equally among her sons. For all intents and purposes that means her inheritance
from her Uncle Lyle. When she received that inheritance it amounted to
$250,000. Right now it amounts to a little more than $30,000. It was her
decision to use that inheritance for medical expenses. There will undoubtedly
be medical bills that will still be coming in for the next month or so.”
Tom asked, “Didn’t you have health
insurance?”
“Yes, but all health insurance has
deductibles and limits. Health insurance did not pay for the reconstructive
surgery or the complications arising from it. The aides were not paid by health
insurance. If we did not have that inheritance and only had my salary, the
State might have paid some of the cost of aides. The inheritance disqualified
us.”
“Why didn’t you use some of your salary for
medical bills and aides?”
“It was your mother’s decision to use the
inheritance. She said the Lord knew we would need a lot of money to fight the
cancer and that is why He put it in Uncle Lyle’s heart to give her that money.”
“Then why did she tell us when she received
it that she was saving it for her boys?”
“That was her intention and that is why it
was deposited in an account with her name only. But she didn’t have cancer when
she said it.”
“You claim that $220,000 was spent on medical
bills. Do you have any proof of that statement?”
“Within the next week or so I will send you
each an itemized list of the medical bills paid out of Laura’s inheritance.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
“So will I.”
“Since you think that I am so wealthy, I’ll
pick up the bill on the way out. Have a safe journey home. I’ll continue
praying for you as Laura and I did each evening as long as she was able to do
so.”
With that I walked out to the car. Nathaniel
followed me home. We rode in silence.
Nathaniel left early the next morning. We
shook hands and he left. I did not hear any more from Matthew, Traci, or Tom.
Philip, Molly, Billy, and Polly came in mid-morning. Molly went through Laura’s
closet and took some winter scarves, and some mittens. From her dresser drawer
she took some fancy handkerchiefs. She asked if she could go through our
photographs and take some of the photos of Laura. I told her to take what she
wanted but to leave some for me.
Later that day I tried to telephone Mr. Fike,
but I received no answer. The same thing was true when I called on Tuesday.
Monday is my day off. Tuesday I called Diane Johnson, the church secretary and
told her that I would not be coming into the office Tuesday or Wednesday, but
that if anyone came to the office and wanted to see me or if there were any
phone messages to call me at home and I would either come to the office or
answer the phone call from my home.
I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday
packing Laura’s clothes and other belonging into large plastic garbage bags
which I then put into storage boxes. As I was going through her things I was
looking for receipts. In a drawer in her dresser I found a 9x12 envelope
labeled “Uncle Lyle’s Bequest”. Bingo. Inside she had checks and receipts in
date order. I carried the envelope to my desk and put it in a drawer.
I rented
a storage unit in town and stacked the boxes of her belongings in it. I took
what jewelry she had, including her engagement ring, and put them in our lock
box at the bank.
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