Wednesday, August 29, 2012

CHANGE OF LIFE - Chapter 2


Chapter 2

Willard came home as soon as his shift was over. He couldn’t wait to get out of his dress uniform. It burned him that those two guys were promoted and that he had been passed over. He went up to the bedroom and got out of his uniform, leaving it on the floor as usual. As he was dressing in casual clothes, he noticed that the bed had not been made.

“What the heck is going on here?”  

“DOLORES!”

There was no answer. He went downstairs and into the kitchen-dining room. His breakfast dishes were still on the table. The frying pan was still on the stove.

“What is that fat sow up to?  Where is she?” 

He went back to the bedroom and stumbled over his dress uniform on the floor. He looked into the closet. Her clothes seemed to be there. Her pocketbook was missing. She always left it on the left side of the dresser unless she was going out. Looking at the dresser he saw her engagement ring. She never took that off except when she was scrubbing or doing something where it might catch.

“What are the possibilities?  Maybe she went shopping in Little Rock with a friend and they hadn’t come home yet. What friend?  I don’t think she has any friends who would take her shopping. Maybe she’s been kidnapped. Who would want to kidnap her?  I know that she’s been going out walking. Other policemen have mentioned seeing her. They asked if she is trying to lose weight. She could have been hit by a car or passed out from overexertion?  I don’t know whether to worry or be angry.”

He called the desk at the police station.

“Jim, this is Willard. When I came home today Dolores wasn’t here. The dishes haven’t been washed, the bed hasn’t been made. That isn’t like her at all. I know it is too soon to file a missing person report, but I just wondered if there have been any accident reports or muggings that had a victim fitting her description.”

“No, this has been a quiet day and evening – no accidents or any other activity. If I hear anything going, I’ll let you know.”

He went out to the kitchen and stared at the dirty dishes and greasy frying pan. He had never washed dishes, and didn’t know where to begin. He shrugged his shoulders and stomped out of the house. He got into his car and drove into town to the Acropolis CafĂ©. Demetrius Papadopolous was the proprietor and cook. He had the best food in town - arguably the best food in the state.

“Hey, Willard, good to see you, but why are you coming to my establishment?  Did someone complain about my food?  Maybe it was that college boy that I wouldn’t let smoke in here. That’s the law I was told. Or maybe it was that prostitute who kept nursing one cup of coffee for half an hour. She sat on a stool at the counter with her skirt hiked up showing ten yards of leg. I told her this wasn’t going to be a place she could pick up customers.”

“Nothing like that, Demetrius. I just want one of your delicious gyros, and a cup of coffee. I promise not to smoke a cigarette, or nurse my coffee for half an hour.”

“I would let you smoke a whole pack of cigarettes, and nurse your coffee for an hour, old friend. Is Dolores sick?”

“I don’t know. She wasn’t at the house when I got home. She didn’t leave a note saying where she was going, or when she would be back. I don’t know whether to be worried or angry.”

“Gee, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll have a gyro fixed in no time. I promise it will take your mind off all things of this earth. You’ll think it came from the gods’ own dining hall on Mount Olympus!  Meanwhile, here is a fresh cup of coffee.”

It had been seventeen years since he smoked his last cigarette, but he sure wished that he had a pack of them to smoke right now.  The coffee was the best cup he had had in years. The gyro was every bit as good as Demetrius had promised. After he finished, he reluctantly went outside to his car. The last thing on earth that he wanted to do was to go back to the house, and deal with the problem of its emptiness.  Maybe he should be glad that Dolores was gone, but he wasn’t glad. Even now, as he drove back to the house, he was hoping that she would be there, waiting for him.

He entered the house, went upstairs and checked every room, looking for some clue to the whereabouts of Dolores. He picked up his dress uniform and decided to take it to the dry cleaner the next day. While he was at it, he looked for everything he would need to wear tomorrow. He laid them all on a chair in the bedroom.

Downstairs, he picked up the dirty dishes from the table, and put them in the sink. He was standing at the sink trying to figure out what he needed to do to wash the dirty dishes and the frying pan. The phone rang.

A female voice asked, “Is Mrs. Dolores O’Reilly there?”

“No, she isn’t. Who is this?  Do you know where she is?”

“Sergeant O’Reilly, this is Mildred Tolefree from the Union Savings Bank. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this – Your wife came into the bank this morning, carrying a suitcase. She withdrew all of the money from one of the savings accounts. Then she made the maximum loan on your credit card. Altogether, she received a little more than four thousand dollars.”

“What savings account are you talking about?”

“About five years ago she opened a savings account that she said was going to be for a Caribbean cruise on your twenty-fifth anniversary. When she withdrew all that money today I asked her if you two were going on your cruise. She said that you didn’t want to go on a cruise. I asked her if she was going on the cruise alone. She said, ‘I guess you could say that.’”

“Thank you. I appreciate you calling me, Miss Tolefree.”

He sat there stunned. He had to talk to someone. He hadn’t talked to his sister in over five years. Right now she seemed like the only one he knew that he could talk to about this. Dolores kept an address book. If he could find it, he was sure Beverly’s phone number and address would be in it. The address book was in a drawer of the desk in the spare room.

That room was supposed to be for a child. After Dolores had several miscarriages, the doctor recommended that they stop trying to have children. Dolores jumped right on that. That was the end of trying to have a baby. He thought they should have kept trying. Dolores said that to keep trying might endanger her life. He was endangering his own life every time that he went out on patrol. She didn’t tell him to stop endangering his life!  Then she suggested that they adopt a child. That was an easy way out for her – adopt somebody else’s child.

Downstairs he sank into his recliner and pulled the phone close to him. Reading from the address book, he punched in the numbers of his sister’s phone.

“Beverly, this is Willard.”

“Willard, I haven’t heard from you in at least five years, not even a Christmas card. Here you are calling me at ten o’clock at night.”

“I thought that it was just nine.”

“It is an hour later in Boston than it is in Arkansas. So why are you calling me at this hour?”

“Beverly, I needed to talk to someone. You are the only one that I can talk to about this. Dolores has left me.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. She wasn’t here when I got home. Later this evening a teller at the bank told me that Dolores came into the bank, carrying a suitcase and withdrew four thousand dollars. I found her engagement ring on the dresser in our bedroom.”

“What was the savings account for – home repairs, medical expenses?”

“I didn’t even know we had it. The teller said that she opened it five years ago to save for a Caribbean cruise for our twenty-fifth anniversary. When she mentioned a Caribbean cruise earlier this year, I told her it was a dumb idea. The teller asked her if she was withdrawing the money because we were going on the cruise. She told her that I didn’t want to go on a cruise. The teller asked if she was going alone. She said ‘Something like that.’”

“When was your twenty-fifth wedding anniversary”

“I think that it was yesterday. I’m not sure.”

“What did you do to celebrate your anniversary?”

“Nothing. I came home, ate my supper, read the newspaper, watched some television, and went on up to be“Nothing. Did I hear you say nothing?  No card, no candy, no flowers?”

“No.”

“Did you even say ‘Happy Anniversary’?”

“No.”

“Did she fix a special meal and put on her nicest clothes for that meal?”

“I guess so. I didn’t pay attention.”

“Then it is not surprising to me that she left you. What surprises me is that she hung around so long.”

“What gets me is how she could have saved almost three thousand dollars in five years. She must have been stealing it from me some way. She doesn’t have a job.”

“That would only be fifty dollars a month. How much allowance do you give her for personal expenses?”

“None. She uses my credit card at the grocery store, the beauty parlor, and if she buys shoes or clothes.”

“Does she have a car to use?”

“She uses mine on my days off if I am not going somewhere.”

“How often do you take her out for dinner, for a movie, or to socialize with other people?”

“Never. We aren’t teenagers you know.”

“When was the last time you told her that you love her?”

“For Pete sake. I’m nearly fifty years old and she is a fat, middle-aged sow.“

“Willard, you didn’t lose a wife, you lost an unpaid domestic servant. She didn’t steal money from you. She collected some unpaid wages.”

“I was hoping to get some helpful advice and sympathy from you. You are all the family that I have.”

“I’m the only family that you have?  Wonder why I haven’t heard from you in nearly five years. I’ll give you this advice. If you get a second chance with Dolores and don’t want to lose her again, learn to say, ‘I love you.’ and ‘Thank you.’ and ‘You certainly are pretty.’  Good night, Wiilard”

Willard sat there staring at the phone. He had never felt so alone. He had turned to Beverly and she had just ridiculed him. What she was saying was true. He realized that Dolores was far more important to him than an unpaid domestic servant. She was his closest and most loyal friend. She always knew how he was feeling. Like being passed over for promotion. She knew right away how he was feeling. He had talked mean to her for so long. How or why did it start?  Feeling alone now made him realize how much she had meant to him.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

CHANGE OF LIFE, Chapter 1


CHANGE OF LIFE

Chapter 1


“Dolores, where are my socks and a white shirt for my uniform?”

“You haven’t been wearing your dress uniform to work.”

“Well, I am today. Get up here and find my shirt and tie and dress socks.”

“All right, Willard, but I’m fixing your breakfast. I’ll have to turn off the burner.”

“Get your sorry bag of blubber up here. I don’t want to be late.”

I hurried into the kitchen, turned off the burner, pulled the frying pan off the burner, and saw that the eggs were already crispy on the bottom. Willard would raise a fuss about that. I ran up the stairs and pulled his white shirt and black tie out of the closet. I waited for him to put on the shirt. He would need me to tie the tie.

“I know that he had to tie his own tie in the Army.”

After I tied his tie and listened to his grumbling and complaining, I ran downstairs to toast two slices of bread the way he likes them. One slice buttered and apple butter on the other slice– just the way he likes them. I had barely finished when down the stairs he came, making enough noise for ten men. I set his plate of food before him and brought a cup of coffee.

“What is happening today that you have to go in to the precinct in dress uniform, Willard?”

“They are promoting two sergeants to lieutenant today. Both of them have less experience than I do. Neither have enough brainpower to blow their noses.”

“You had been hoping that they would promote you to lieutenant this year. I’m sorry. I know you must be disappointed and bitter as well.”

“Look at these eggs! Both of them are crispy on the bottom. You know that I don’t like eggs crispy on the bottom. It looks like you could do some things right.”

“You called to me while I was frying them. They got crispy while I was answering you.”

“That’s right. Blame it on me. I go out and earn the money so that you can stay home. It looks to me like you would have plenty of time to be an excellent housekeeper and cook. Instead, what do you do? Lay around the house watching television and getting fat.”

His words stung and hurt. I do everything I can to have a clean and attractive home. I think that I am a very good cook. I never receive any compliments from him for anything I do. We never have company so that I could entertain and perhaps hear compliments from other people. When Willard needs company, he goes out with his buddies. He goes to ball games, is in a bowling league, and used to be on a softball team. He never took me with him.

I don’t have a car. Willard says that we can’t afford two cars and don’t need two cars. When I have shopping to do, or want to go to the beauty parlor, I have to go on one of his days off. If he decides to go some place or do something on his day off, I have to postpone the shopping trip or reschedule the hair appointment.

After we had been married twenty years, I began to dream and plan for us to go on a cruise for our twenty-fifth anniversary. Maybe if we were alone together on a ship, away from his buddies, away from his work, we could recapture the love of our younger years. I opened a special savings account just for that purpose. Every time I went to a store or to the beauty parlor, when I swiped the credit card and it asked if I wanted cash, I would always get at least ten dollars and sometimes twenty dollars. That cash went into the special savings account. As our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary approached, I presented my idea to Willard. It was after supper. I fixed his favorite foods – Polish sausage cooked in Bavarian sauerkraut and onions, baked beans, applesauce, and multigrain bread.

“Willard, in about five months we will celebrate our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. I thought it would be nice if we would go on one of those cruise ships. We could plan our cruise so that we would be on board the ship on our anniversary night. On a leisurely cruise in the Caribbean we could talk and try to find the love we had when we were first married.”

“Caribbean cruise? What do you think we are – Mr. & Mrs. Gotrocks? I’m just a policeman, not a Wall Street banker.”

“Willard, I have looked up prices on the Internet. We could go on a five day cruise for about $500 each. That may sound like a lot of money, but you spent that much money on one gun last year. After all, it will be twenty-five years of marriage we will be celebrating!”

“Maybe you will be celebrating. Twenty-five years you have had me in a harness, supporting you so you wouldn’t have to work, so you could loll around the house and get fat. What do you think you would look like in a swimming suit lying on one of those lounge chairs on deck? You’d look like a beached whale, that’s what! Now shut your yap about this silly cruise idea. Let me read the paper and then I’m going to watch a game on television.”

There was only one television set. Willard said we didn’t need another one upstairs. I went to the spare room upstairs and sat in a chair. When we bought the house, this was supposed to be a child’s room. That dream was ended by three miscarriages and a tubal pregnancy. The doctor told us that it would not be wise to try any more to have children. Since that time Willard’s attitude toward me had become cold, abrasive, almost cruel. He rarely wanted sex. “What’s the sense in it?” He made it plain, without saying it, that I was the one to blame for our childless family. When I suggested adoption, he stomped out of the house.

From that day onward the cruise account at the bank was renamed (in my mind) The Freedom Account. My Social Security card still had my maiden name, Dolores Elaine Kosciuszko. I got a credit card in that name. I planned what I could take in a small suitcase. There was already more than $2500 in the bank account. I tried to build up more. Five months remained to work and plan.

The next day I found an exercise program on the television. Every day that Willard worked, I exercised. Every day after lunch I went walking. At first I couldn’t walk very far and my inner thighs chafed. I kept at it and every day I walked a little farther. I bought walking shoes and white socks. I was losing weight and looking better. Willard never noticed.

Yesterday was our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. I fixed a special meal and dressed up nice for the evening meal. Willard never mentioned our anniversary. He didn’t bring me a card or flowers or candy. He didn’t say “Happy Anniversary.” He read his paper, watched a game on television, and went up to bed.

Willard went off to work in his dress uniform, still complaining about the eggs being crispy. As soon as he left, I went upstairs and packed the small suitcase. I didn’t want anything too heavy to carry. I kept my wedding ring, but took off my engagement ring and left it on the dresser. I put on the gold necklace with a porcelain pendant that had been my mother’s. I left the rest of my jewelry on the dresser. In my billfold I had the Social Security card with my maiden name, a credit card in my maiden name, and the credit card with my married name that I used all the time for shopping.

I walked to the bank carrying my suitcase. There I withdrew all the money in my Freedom Account. I got the maximum loan amount on the credit card with my married name. Willard would have to pay that loan back whether he thought it was right or not. Altogether I had almost four thousand dollars to start a new life as Dolores Kosciuszko.

From the bank I walked to the hospital. There was no inter-city bus service in our town. There was a shuttle that took the elderly to medical appointments in Pine Bluff. A regional hospital is in Pine Bluff. A number of specialists have offices in buildings near the hospital. I knew the shuttle was running today. I had called yesterday just to be sure. I walked up to the shuttle bus carrying the suitcase.

“I have to see Dr. Pepperdine today. He told me to come prepared to stay overnight.”

“Certainly Mrs. O’Reilly. Come on board. I guess your husband is too busy today to take you. The police are like the Fire Department. You never want to have to call them for yourself, but you sure are glad they are around and that you could call them if necessary.”

When the shuttle arrived in Pine Bluff, I got off near the hospital. I went inside, went to the cafeteria, and bought a coffee and a cinnamon roll. I had not eaten breakfast and I was very hungry. Outside the main entrance of the hospital a taxi was stopped while its two passengers disembarked. I asked the cabbie, “Do you have another fare?” He shook his head and I climbed into the back seat .

“Bus terminal, please.”

At the bus terminal I bought a ticket to Little Rock. When it arrived in Little Rock, I took a taxi to one of the stops for the free bus that takes people to a gambling casino in Tunica, Mississippi. When the bus came, there were already people on the bus. The driver looked quizzically at my suitcase, but said nothing. I walked halfway back in the bus, found an empty seat, put my suitcase in the overhead rack, and sat down.

At the casino, I went to the hotel run by the casino and got a room for the night. In the room I freshened up. Going down to the casino, I bought twenty dollars of tokens for the slot machines. Then I went to the buffet for my supper. After supper I played the slots until I ran out of tokens.

I went to my room. In the bathroom sink I washed the clothes I had been wearing and hung them around the room to dry.

The next day I had breakfast at the buffet, went back to my room and watched television until close to check out time. Then I packed my now dry clothes into the suitcase, checked out of the hotel and went to the area where the buses arrived and departed. I found a bus going to Memphis.

“Can you let me off someplace near the Amtrak station in Memphis?”

“I can let you off on Front Street several blocks from the station. Is that all right?”

“Thanks.”

When I got off the bus, I had several blocks to walk to the Amtrak station. I bought a ticket to Chicago for that night. I paid extra to get a roomette in a sleeper car. The train would leave a little after 10 PM and arrive in Chicago a little after 9AM. I put my suitcase in a locker and asked directions to the nearest library. There I spent the rest of the day on the computer learning as much as I could about Chicago. I wrote down the names of some extended stay motels with their addresses and phone numbers. I also copied the phone number of the Chicago transit system office that gave directions.

The library closed. I asked directions to the nearest restaurant, had a leisurely supper, and then walked back to the train station.

 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Back To My Roots


Not long ago, an old, large tree fell over in the wind. The owner of the property said that because of the drought the roots had withered. They were no longer able to withstand the wind and hold the tree upright. I’m not a botanist; I don’t know if the property owner was correct in his explanation for the cause of the tree falling down.
      I am going back to my roots for a short visit. I am going to visit the town where I was born, where both my parents were born, where my grandfather lived all his married life, and where my great-grandfather spent the last years of his life. They are all buried on the same cemetery lot in that town’s cemetery.
       I am leaving Mississippi Delta land to go up into the mountains. My car will climb the long ascent to the top of one mountain, then go downhill until it begins the climb up the elevation of the next mountain. As I am enfolded in the bosom of those towering forested land masses, I imagine that they are my grandmother saying, “Why, honey, I sure have missed you. Can you stay for a while? Come on in and sit down. I’ll fix you some coffee and ham and eggs.”
      I’ll be attending the convention of the historical society of a railroad that no longer exists. While it was in operation, my great-grandfather, my grandfather, two of his brothers, and two of his sons (one of them was my father) worked for that railroad. We will ride on an excursion train over rails that were originally laid by some of them.
      While I am there I will also attend worship in a church that was my second pastorate.
      I’ve been away for a year since my last visit, transplanted in the flatlands and sun-baked soil of the Mississippi Delta. I hope that my roots will be watered and nourished enough by this short visit to hold me upright against the winds of life for another year.