ESCAPE - Chapter 7

   The next morning, just as I was about to leave for the church office, the FedEx truck pulled up. He had an overnight envelope for me from the Presbytery office. Inside were ten $100 bills anda note from Rev. Sheetz.

   “Joshua, Take your time paying this back. You have been hit with so many punches that most people would have been out for the count. I’m praying for you!  Joe”

   I was encouraged to know that Presbytery had my back. At the church office I received some sad news. Mr. Wainwright had died at the Arkansas Heart Hospital. I called the Wainwright residence to see if Mrs. Wainwright was there. There was no answer. I called her best friend, Mrs. Higgins.

   “Mrs. Higgins, do you know if Mrs. Wainwright has returned home from Little Rock?”

   “Yes, she returned last evening, but this morning I saw an ambulance and they took her away in it.”

   “Thank you, Mrs. Higgins.”

   I told the secretary that I was going to the hospital. At the Emergency Room I asked about Mrs. Wainwright. They told me that she was in Room 127 in the hospital. The clerk whispered to me,

   “She had a panic attack and was so distraught that the doctor thought she should stay overnight.”

   “Thank you, Susie.”

   HIPPA rules do not recognize clergy as part of the healing team. It is illegal to give a minister any information about a patient’s condition.

   I went back to Mrs. Wainwright’s room. She was a bit woozy and loopy, probably from a tranquilizer and sedative. I held her hand and told her how sorry I was for her loss of Harold. I told her that I was still hurting from the loss of Laura. Then I told her the good news of the resurrection and the assurance we have that our loved one who were Christians are now with the Lord in heaven. He has prepared a far nicer home for them than they had down here. Then I prayed with her. She probably had not spoken with the funeral director to make arrangements. I would have the secretary call the funeral home tomorrow afternoon to find out the days and times for the viewing and the funeral.

   When I returned to the church office, the secretary said that Mr. Fike called and wanted me to return his call.

   “Mr. Fike, this is Reverend Sterner returning your call.”

   “Yes. Well, I just wanted to know how this meeting on Sunday will go.”

   “I will moderate the meeting…”

   He broke in, “The Presbytery Executive won’t moderate it?”

   “If he is there, he will just be there to observe.”

   “Why would he want to observe?”

   “It is customary in these circumstances.”

   “What circumstances?”

   “The Session did ask me to leave. That is why we are having this meeting.”

   “Oh.”

   “I will declare that a quorum is present. Then, if you are present, I will appoint you as secretary for the meeting to keep the minutes. I will announce the purpose of the meeting which is for the congregation to vote on whether it desires for the pastoral relationship be dissolved by Presbytery.

   “If I then announce that I request the pastoral relationship between myself and the Church be dissolved, then someone from the congregation will have to make a motion that the congregation communicate to Presbytery that it concurs with Reverend Sterner’s request.

   “If I don’t announce that I request the dissolution, then someone from the congregation will have to make a motion that the congregation requests that the Presbytery dissolve the pastoral relationship between Reverend Sterner and this church.”

   “Well, are you going to announce that you are the one requesting it or not?”

   “I haven’t decided.”

   “Of course you haven’t, you jerk.”

   With that parting shot he hung up.

   I wondered if it wouldn’t be better to force the hand of those who wanted me to leave, by not requesting the pastoral relationship to be dissolved. That would expose to the congregation who the troublemakers are. That way, there was a distinct possibility that those who wanted me to leave would lose. BUT, then I would have to stay in what would be a pretty sticky situation. I will definitely request to leave, but I’ll keep my intentions to myself and let Fike, Alfritz, Bigelow, Carrington, et al squirm for a while.

   When I went home for the day, I divided the $100 bills and put them in different drawers and coat pockets. Then I sat at the table and made a grocery list. Because of Laura’s illness and with aides and the nurse coming and going, I had been eating out a lot. I made a list of foods for breakfast, lunch, and supper – enough for one week. Then I went to the store. In times past, people would stop me in the store and want to talk. I recognized some people and smiled at them, but no one spoke to me. In the checkout line I heard someone say,

   “A hundred dollar bill. He must have got that inheritance right away.”

   The next day the secretary found out that Mr. Wainwright’s viewing was on Friday evening and the funeral was Saturday at 2 p.m. I would go to see Mrs. Wainwright this afternoon. I started work on my sermon for Sunday, “Sola Fide”. The funeral home called and told me that Mrs. Wainwright had requested that I conduct the services for Mr. Harold Wainwright. I confirmed that I would conduct the services. I worked hard on the sermon until I left for Mrs. Wainwright’s house.

   “Mrs. Wainwright, the funeral home called and said that you wanted me to conduct your husband’s funeral. I’ve come over this afternoon to get some information and also to offer my condolences.”

   “Please come in Reverend Sterner. My daughters are here. We can ask them to help us.

   “Reverend  Sterner, these are my daughters Alice Cunningham and Rhoda Quatero.”

   “I am happy to meet you ladies. I am sorry for the loss of your father. I want to get some information on him for the funeral service.”

   Alice spoke up, “I want to read a poem in the service.”

   Mrs. Wainwright said, “Rhoda suggested that we have the burial first with just the family members present and then have the funeral service itself in the Church.”

   “That is fine with me. Be sure to let the funeral home know this as soon as possible. Call the church secretary tomorrow morning and have her inform the Chairman of the Board of Deacons that you want to use the church on Saturday afternoon. He will have to arrange for someone to clean up the sanctuary for church services on Sunday.”

   “Are we supposed to pay for that?”

   “If you want to send a donation you may, but there is no charge for church members. Now tell me some things about Harold that I can mention in his memorial service.”

After they had recounted some anecdotes and characteristics of Harold, Rhoda said to be sure to include “Abide With Me.” She was sure that was one of her father’s favorite hymns. I had prayer with them and then left.

   At home I fixed some supper. After that I continued work on the sermon for Sunday, Sola Fide, “only by faith”. It is by faith alone that we are saved. It is by faith we live each day in a way pleasing to God. Faith is the sum total of all God has revealed to us.

   That night I had a fitful sleep. In one dream I was wrestling with Death. In another dream I was wrestling with the Devil. In the third dream Mr. Fike, and Mr. Bigelow were both wrestling me while Mrs. Alfritz and Mrs. Carrington were cheering them on.

   On Friday Mrs. Alfritz called me at the church.

   “Reverend Sterner, I just wondered if you had visited with Mrs. Wainwright yet. You know her husband is in a hospital in Little Rock. It must have been too much for her because she was in the hospital here overnight. I know you have had so much on you what with Laura’s death and your own sons suing you, but if you can find the time, I’m sure that she would appreciate a visit from her pastor.”

   “I visited Mr. Wainwright in the Emergency Room here and Mrs. Wainwright was with him. I visited both of them in the Arkansas Heart Hospital in Little Rock. Mr. Wainwright died. I visited Mrs. Wainwright when she was in the hospital here after his death. I visited Mrs. Wainwright and her two daughters in her home yesterday afternoon to plan the funeral. The viewing will be tonight at 7 p.m. at the funeral home and the funeral will be tomorrow at 2 p.m. at the Church.”

   “Oh, I didn’t know he died.”

   “Good-bye Mrs. Alfritz.”

   I went to the funeral home to pick up a copy of Harold Wainwright’s obituary. I also asked for at least half a dozen copies of Laura’s death certificate. I saw that the cause of death was the same as the coroner had said, “Cancer; multiple organ failure”.

  “By the way, I left a $15,000 life insurance policy on Laura as a deposit on her funeral. Do you know how much I will be getting back from it when the insurance company pays you?”

   “Nothing. The funeral as you planned it would have been about $9600. When the extra cost of the deluxe wooden coffin, a family limousine, and some other additional services were added to it, the final bill was $15,146. The owner, Mr. Murphy said that we would accept the $15,000 policy as payment in full.”

   “Thank you.” “Yes, thank you Matthew, Traci, and Thomas.”

   Later that evening I came to the viewing and stayed just long enough to pay my respects to Mrs. Wainwright and her daughters. It was a quieter atmosphere than at Laura’s viewing. I had prayer with them and then went home. I found some classical music on the radio and sat down to relax.

   On Saturday I worked on my sermon for Sunday. I also wrote out a statement giving my reasons for desiring to end my pastoral call to the First Presbyterian Church.

   At one o’clock I left for the cemetery. I arrived before the hearse and the Wainwright family. This was a very large cemetery. I looked for a tent. I then looked around the open grave for the little metal sign with the person’s name. It was “Wainwright” so I was in the right location. When the hearse arrived, the family was in their own car following the hearse. There were just three women dressed in black. Evidently the daughters were not married or their husbands were at home.

   I read several verses about the resurrection, asked them to join me in the Lord’s Prayer. Then I had the Prayer of Committal, said two additional prayers and the benediction. I shook hands with them and started for my car. One of the men from the funeral home caught my sleeve. I stopped and he handed me an envelope. I thanked him. I realized that since there would not be a coffin in the church for the memorial service, the funeral home would not have to be involved with it.

   At the memorial service one of the daughters place a framed photo of Mr. Wainwright on the table in front of the pulpit. I read the obituary, then some Scripture verses. We sang “Amazing Grace” as an opening hymn. Then I called on Alice Cunningham to read a poem. She had chosen “Crossing The Bar” by Alfred Lord Tennyson

   After that I read two Scripture lessons - Psalms 46 and a portion of Romans 8. My homily was on Christ’s triumph over death. I had a prayer of praise and assurance. Then we sang “Abide With Me” as the closing hymn.

ESCAPE - Chapter 6

In the worship service bulletin I had the secretary word the announcement this way, “Next Sunday, following the Worship service, there will be a Congregational meeting for the purpose of asking the congregation to vote their approval or disapproval of dissolving the pastoral relationship between this Church and the Reverend Joshua Sterner.” That wording would allow me some additional time to decide whether to resign and ask for the congregation’s approval or whether to leave it to someone to make a motion that the congregation requests that its pastoral relationship with me be dissolved. I saw a number of people in the pews pointing to the bulletin. Apparently the members of the Session had kept to themselves their plan to ask me to leave.

My sermon was “Sola Scriptura”. The Scriptures are the only book in the world in which God has revealed Himself to mankind. The Scriptures contain words inspired by God and are literally the Word of God. Therefore, the Scriptures carry with them the same authority as a signed decree by a king, except they are the decrees of God. The Scriptures teach us what we need to know about God and what duties He requires of us. The Scriptures contain the only way of salvation. The Scriptures have sufficient power in themselves, without any priest or clergyman, to lead those who read them to salvation and a relationship with God. 

After church I had a light lunch and lay down for a nap. That evening Phil called. He and Molly and then Billy and Polly talked with me. The kids were excited about school. They have to ride over an hour on the school bus. Molly has been teaching them songs to sing on the way to school. The other kids are joining in, happy to have a way to pass the time.

 About an hour afterward Nathaniel called.

“Hi, Dad. I just wanted to see if you are all right.”

“Yes, I’m doing okay, Nathaniel, how about you?”

“Well, good. Good talking to you. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. Good-bye now.”

“Good-bye, son.”

Monday, I devoted myself to assembling the checks and receipts for Laura’s medical expenses that were in my files. The ones in the envelope in Laura’s dresser drawer covered the first six years and the very beginning of this year. They were carefully arranged in chronological order. Then she had given me power of attorney so that I could sign checks on her account to pay medical bills. After that the checks and bills were in my files.

After I finished arranging the checks and bills in my files, I took them to the office of Graham Bilton, C.P.A.  I had been going to tabulate them myself and print four copies and mail that to the boys. I thought that it would be better to have them audited. Maybe that would settle the matter.

“Graham, I have a job that I would like for you to do for me. Two of my sons practically accused me of embezzling Laura’s inheritance. In these two envelopes are the originals of the bills and checks of monies spent from her account. Would you audit them and write a statement of your findings? Then I’ll mail a copy to each of my sons.”

“I’ll be glad to do that for you. Things are slow right now so I should have the job completed this week.”

I walked back home. There was a message on the answering machine from the bank. It was too late to call this evening. This was supposed to be my day off. I decided to drive over to the next town and go to the movies, just to get out of the house. When I came to the movie house and looked at the posters for the six movies showing, none of them were appealing. I went to Jim’s Hamburger Restaurant and bought a large hamburger with sweet potato fries. The hamburger was delicious and the sweet potato fries served with barbeque sauce for dipping were out of this world. A juke box was playing. I nursed my meal, chewing slowly, and dragging out the time. It was a time of relaxing and unwinding for me. I didn’t want to see anyone that I knew, and I didn’t.

The next day, when the mailman came, he rang the door bell.

“Reverend Sterner, I have a piece of mail for you that requires your signature.”

After I had signed a green card, he gave me a letter from the Circuit Court. The papers inside informed me that I was being sued by Thomas Sterner and Matthew Sterner for the wrongful death of Laura Claudette Sterner and the mishandling of the funds in her estate. Until a judgment has been made, the Court has frozen all my assets. That explains why the bank called.

I called the church office and told the secretary that I had to take care of some business in town, but that I would be in the office before noon. I walked into town to the bank and went back to Accounting.

“Reverend Sterner, thank you for coming in. I wanted you to know that the bank received an order from the court freezing all your accounts. You won’t be able to write checks or withdraw money from any of your accounts or have access to your lock box until such time as the court rescinds its order or modifies it.”

“What about checks that I have written already?”

“Any check dated before we received the court order will be honored.”

“Thank you.”

Next I went to Graham Bilton’s office.

“Hello preacher, I started working on your job, but I am nowhere near being finished.”

“Graham, there is a new dimension to that job. I found out today that I am being sued for mismanaging Laura’s inheritance, so the work you are doing will eventually be evidence in court. Also, the court has frozen all my assets. I will have to pay you in cash. You’ll have to tell me a day or so ahead how much the job will cost.”

“It will be around $500. If you can’t come up with the money right away, I know you are good for it.”

“No, I’ll get it some way. I don’t believe in asking people to work and then putting off paying them.”

From there I went to the lawyer’s office. I asked to see Mr. Capon. He had drawn up the wills for Laura and me. He had urged us to make a Living Will at that time.

“Brother Sterner, I expect you are here to ask some questions about submitting Laura’s will for probate.”

“No, I haven’t got to that yet. Let me ask some other questions. No, first read these.”

I gave him the papers from the Circuit Court. He leaned back in his chair while he was reading. He reminded me of pictures that I had seen of Abraham Lincoln. He didn’t look like him in the face, but he was tall and slim and seemed awkward when he was sitting in a chair.

“Your son sure was busy while he was in town for his mother’s funeral. What are your questions?”

“The most immediate question is how am I going to live? I have less than $100 in my wallet. I don’t have a pantry full of food, in fact there is hardly any food at the house. If someone wants me to visit a family member in a hospital in Pine Bluff, Little Rock, or El Dorado, I have to jump in my car and go. My gas gauge is on ¼ full right now. I should take it to the gas station, but if I do it will take more than $50 to fill it up.

“Before I knew anything about this lawsuit, I took bills and cancelled checks to Graham Bilton relative to Laura’s inheritance. I asked him to audit the account that contains her inheritance. That is going to cost me $500. I was going to send his report to the four sons because at the dinner after the funeral both Tom and Matthew had challenged me. When Laura first received her inheritance, she told the boys that she was going to save it for them. That is why we put it into an account in Laura’s name alone with my name in case of death. Later, when she developed cancer, she decided to use the inheritance for medical expenses that the insurance didn’t pay. She was the only one who wrote checks on that account until this year. When she was getting too weak to write the checks, she gave me power of attorney to write checks on the account.

“As for the wrongful death – the night Laura died, I did not find her dead until the next morning. By then her body was cold and her limbs were stiff. Her hand was clutching the bell she used to call me at night and her mouth was wide open. Mrs. Koontz, one of her aides, came not long after I discovered Laura dead. I told her that Laura was dead and she shoved past me into the house and went to Laura’s room. When she saw her, she screamed. She ran out of the house. Then she began to tell all over town that Laura died because she was calling for help and ringing her bell, but that I wouldn’t come to help her.

“Laura’s doctor told me that she had lived a lot longer than he thought she would. All of her organs were affected. She had not been able to talk for several weeks or more, so she couldn’t have called for help. He said that her mouth was wide open because she was trying to get air but her diaphragm and lungs had stopped working. He said that even if she had managed to ring the bell, and I had run down the hall to her room, there was nothing I could have done to keep her from dying. The hospice nurse said the same thing. She said that even if a nurse had been there, there was a Do Not Resuscitate order in accordance with her own instructions in the Living Will.”

“It would appear, Reverend Sterner, that the facts are on your side, that furthermore you need a lawyer to use the facts to send your lawyer son back to Georgia with his tail between his legs. In the meantime, I don’t know the answer to your first question, ‘How am I going to live.’ The trial date is not until December 10. Since your son’s purpose seems to be to make your life miserable, he may even try to postpone the trial until later.”

“Will you represent me?”

“It would be an honor, Joshua.”

“I probably will not be in this town or state much longer. The church is asking me to leave.”

I was standing up and Mr. Capon unfolded himself from his chair to stand across from me. His jaw dropped and for a few moments he seemed stunned. When he recovered he said,

“Keep me informed of your whereabouts and how I can reach you.”

When I reached the church office, the secretary greeted me with a cheering smile. There were no messages. I called Rev. Sheetz at the Presbytery office and told him about the lawsuit and all my bank accounts being frozen.

“Joshua, is there any way that I can help you?”

“I am going to have to operate on cash until this is straightened out. I deposited this month’s pay into my checking account, but now I can’t get any of it out. I have less than $100 in my wallet and two weeks to go until my next pay. I have no food in the house. I think that the Presbytery has an emergency fund for ministers. If you could send me at least $500 in cash by FedEx overnight I sure would appreciate it. When the church pays me in the beginning of November, I’ll repay the money.”

“I’ll get on that right away. You certainly are being punched right and left. You are a modern day Job. The Devil is doing everything possible to defeat you. Keep looking up to Jesus and I’ll be holding you up in my prayers.”

I was relieved to know that I could manage for the time being. I was grateful to the Presbytery for helping me in this way. I had to plan what my next moves would be. I should begin prioritizing, packing, and throwing things away. I would pick out what was most important to me that I could take in the car with me. The things I wanted to keep but couldn’t take with me I would put into the storage unit where I had put the boxes of Laura’s belongings. The furniture I would sell to the second hand store for whatever they would give me for it. There wasn’t much furniture and it wasn’t too good.

I remembered what Nathaniel said about Laura writing to him every week and how he had appreciated it. I decided to write to him.

Dear son,

It was so good to see you and be with you even though it was under such sad circumstances.

I had a real uplifting experience last week. A man that I didn’t even know asked me to come to the hospital and pray for his wife. I did and walking out of the hospital I was certain that she was going to get better. The next week I had to go to the Emergency Room for a church member who had a heart attack. While I was there I went to see the woman I had prayed for. She was sitting up in bed, real happy, and said that she was going home the next day.

Nathaniel, I have decided to leave this church and this town. There are just too many sad memories. Wherever I go from here, when I die I want to be buried beside Laura. Please remember that and when the time comes don’t let your brothers change it.

Love,

Dad       

 

ESCAPE - Chapter 5

   Wednesday evening I went to the Church for the called Session meeting. After I had opened the meeting with prayer, I asked Mr. Fike what the purpose was for which the meeting was called.

   “Pastor, we are here to ask you to resign immediately. If you don’t, we are going to take a vote to fire you.”

   Before I could speak, Mrs. Alfritz, who was also an elder said, “The talk around town has made our church the object of scorn throughout the whole community. We all loved Laura. The thought that our pastor could be callous and unfeeling and let her die without making any effort to help her, without even getting out of bed, is just too horrible for words.”

   Mr. Bigelow, the treasurer, said, “Our offerings have gone down steadily these last couple years while you have had to spend so much time taking care of your ailing wife. Of course that was your chief responsibility. Our responsibility is to keep this church alive. The longer we keep you here as pastor, the worse the shape we are in.”

   Mrs. Carrington, a wealthy widow, said, “I understand that you will come into a sizeable sum of money now that Laura is gone. You really don’t need what we can pay you as pastor.”

   When everyone had spoken, I said, “In the Presbyterian Church, the pastor’s call is a three-way contract between pastor, congregation, and Presbytery. The call can be terminated in only two ways. The pastor can request that it be terminated, the congregation votes on whether they are agreeable to that or not. Or the congregation can vote to request that the pastor’s call be terminated, and the pastor says whether he agrees or not. In either case, if both the congregation and the pastor are in agreement, the Presbytery will agree. If either the congregation or the pastor do not agree, there has to be a Presbytery meeting. The pastor and the congregation’s elder representative each present their reasons. Then the Presbytery votes whether to dissolve the pastoral call or not.

   “In short, this meeting needs to call a congregational meeting for the purpose of deciding whether to request that the pastor’s call be dissolved. The meeting could be announced next Sunday and the congregational meeting could be held after service the following Sunday.”

   The Session voted to call a congregational meeting. I asked for a motion to adjourn. Then I closed the meeting in prayer.

   Thursday morning the church secretary called to say that one of the members, Mr. Wainwright had a heart attack and was in the hospital. I went to the hospital. Mr. Wainwright was still in the Emergency Room. Mrs. Wainwright was in the examining room with him.

   “Reverend Sterner, thank you so much for coming. Ralph is pretty woozy now. They gave him some shots. The doctor is consulting with a doctor in Little Rock to decide whether to transport him to the Heart Hospital or leave him here. I guess it will depend on what is wrong with his heart and how serious the attack was.”

   “Since they may come back in and get him ready to go, let’s have prayer now. Then after you know what is decided, call the church secretary and let her know. She can pass the message to me. I have to go to the Presbytery office in Ruston, Louisiana today or tomorrow.”

   I had prayer with the Wainwrights and concluded with the Lord’s Prayer. I heard Mr. Wainwright murmuring sounds in sync with the words of the Lord’s Prayer. He was trying to say it.

   Next I visited Mrs. Wrangle. She was sitting up in bed chatting cheerily with a nurse.

   “Oh, Reverend Sterner, I’m so glad to see you. The nurse was just telling me that I will probably go home tomorrow.  Isn’t that wonderful news? It was your prayer, you know? You really got through to God for me. I told my husband that we are going to start going to your church just as soon as I am able.”

   I had a prayer of thanksgiving with her ending with the Lord’s Prayer. Both she and the nurse joined in. From there I went to the church office. I called the Presbytery office and asked to speak to the Executive Presbyter, Rev. Joe Sheetz.

   “Joe, this is Joshua Sterner. I need to talk to you and I would prefer a face to face meeting. Could you spare an hour’s time this afternoon?”

   “Would two o’clock be all right?”

   “Yes, I can be there by then. Thank you.” 

   I spoke to the secretary,

   “Mrs. Johnson, Mr. Wainwright is still in the Emergency Room. They are deciding whether to transport him to the Heart Hospital or to keep him here. Mrs. Wainwright is supposed to call you here at the Church Office and leave a message about what they decide. If she does not call before you are ready to go home, please call the hospital and find out if he is there or has been transferred. Whatever you find out, leave a note on my desk. Any other messages or calls, leave a note on my desk. I have a meeting at the Presbytery office at 2 p.m. I don’t expect to return to here until 6 p.m. or later. Thank you.”

   “Reverend Sterner, I heard about the Session meeting last night. These people don’t realize what a hard working and godly man that they are tossing aside because of wicked, gossiping people. The Devil must be laughing.”

   The drive to Ruston was relaxing. I listened to classical music on the XM radio. The fall colors of the leaves was at its height. The sun was shining brightly. A smile crept onto my face. I thought that I heard Laura saying,

   “That’s right, Joshua, smile. Let the sunshine come back into your heart.”

   I arrived at the Presbytery office about five minutes early. There was a half pot of coffee on the stand beside the secretary.

   “Is it fresh?”

   “No, it’s nasty.

   “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll go get a Coke.”

   I knew they kept soft drinks in the refrigerator in the kitchen. I found a Lime Diet Coke and walked back to the front. Joe Sheetz was waiting.

   “Joshua, come on into my office.”

   After I was seated across from him, he asked,

   “What is on your mind; what can I do for you?”

   “I’ll give you the short version first, then fill in the details. Laura died last Thursday; her funeral and burial were on Sunday. On Wednesday night the Session had a called meeting and asked me to leave. There will be a congregational meeting Sunday after next to request that the pastoral call be dissolved by Presbytery.

   “Here are some of the details. Seven years ago Laura received an inheritance from her uncle of $250,000. Several months later she discovered that she had cancer. Over the years most of that inheritance has been spent on medical expenses and hiring aides to help her. There were a couple years when the cancer was in remission, in fact she was told that she was cancer free. Then it came back with a vengeance. All this year she has been getting weaker, then she became bedridden. 

   At first I hired aides for a couple hours three days a week. That increased to aides seven days a week, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Three and a half months ago, Laura’s doctor told me that her condition was terminal, that her pain required morphine, and that he was recommending hospice care. I signed up for hospice care and a nurse has come to the home at least twice a day to check on Laura and to administer the morphine.

   “Laura had a schoolmarm’s bell which she rang whenever she wanted something or needed help. At night, in bed, I would hear the bell and go to her room to see what she needed. I always had to get up one time a night and sometimes more. The night she died I slept all through the night. When I awoke I ran down the hall to her room. She was dead. Her body was cold and her limbs were rigid. Her mouth was wide open and her hand was clutching the schoolmarm’s bell.

   “Her aide came at 9 a.m. When I told her that Laura was dead, she shoved past me and went into Laura’s room. When she saw the body, she screamed. She left, but she went around town saying that Laura had called for help and rang the bell, but I didn’t go to help her and that is why she died. 

   When Laura’s doctor heard from his nurses that this gossip was going around town like wildfire, he left his office and came to me. He told me that Laura had lived longer than he expected, that I had taken excellent care of her, that she was too weak to call for help her diaphragm and lungs had probably quit and she was trying to get air. Moreover, he said that even if I had found her not being able to breathe, there was a Do Not Resuscitate order as part of her Living Will. Hospice would not have sent an ambulance.

   “Later the gossip was expanded to say that I let her die so I could get her inheritance.

   “I think the Church’s action is partly compassion fatigue. Laura was sick with cancer and then apparently recovered. A couple years later she came down with cancer again, this time much more severe, and she didn’t recover. The church is reacting to the gossip going around town. Also, the church has diminished in members and income. There might be other reasons for this, but the easiest explanation is to say that the pastor has been too occupied with his sick wife.”

   “What do you want to do? You have been in that town for ten years. This flap of vicious gossip is momentary. When the excitement dies down, what remains is that you are a man of integrity, a hardworking and caring pastor, an outstanding preacher. Those qualities would help you build up that church again. Do you want to stay? Can you forgive the church and the town? Do you need to escape from a place that daily reminds you of Laura’s last painful years? I’m going to be at that congregational meeting. You may have more support than you realize.”

   “That congregational meeting is the main reason that I have come to you for advice. My pride moves me to make someone from the congregation make a motion to ask me to leave. Then if I have supporters they might speak up. In the vote I would find out how many want me to stay. My desire for peace in the church says that I should ask for my pastoral call to be dissolved and ask the congregation to concur with my request. I could give them as a reason that my grief is so great that I don’t think I can do an adequate job as pastor. That way even my supporters would support the motion out of sympathy for me. If I make the congregation ask me to leave, even if the motion is defeated, those who want me to leave will then leave themselves.”

   “You are a wise and humble man, Joshua.”

   I drove back with Joe’s words going through my mind. As I drove into town it was going on six o’clock. I stopped at the Subway shop and bought a twelve inch sub sandwich. I went into the church office long enough to pick up my messages.

   When I reached home, I unwrapped the sub sandwich and got a glass of cranberry juice from the refrigerator. There were messages to call Mr. Fike and Mrs. Alfritz. Mr. Wainwright had been moved to the Arkansas Heart Hospital. After I ate, I lay on the sofa and watched a couple episodes of “Doc Martin” that had been recorded by the DVR.

   The congregational meeting would be on Hallowe’en – how ironic. That was also Reformation Sunday. I decided to start this Sunday a series of sermons on the five solas of the Reformation, sola Scriptura, sola fide, sola gratia, solus Christus, and soli Deo Gloria. I did a search on the internet and found a half dozen articles that I could use as background material for the sermons. I printed them out. I noticed that I didn’t have any more ink cartridges. I ordered three.

   The next day I went into the office. I returned the calls from Mr. Fike and Mrs. Alfritz but neither one answered the phone. I began working on the sermon for Sunday, “Sola Scriptura”.

   Mrs. Wainwright called and said that her husband wasn’t doing too well. She asked me to please come to see him. I told her that I would. I saved my work to a memory stick so that I could continue my sermon at home.

   The drive to Little Rock was as far but not as pleasant as the drive to Ruston. I arrived at the Heart Hospital at about 2:30 p.m. That was a blessing from God because the visiting times are noon, 3 p.m. and 6 p.m. Mrs. Wainwright met me.

   “They are going to operate tomorrow morning. The surgeon said that he did not want to wait until Monday.”

   “Will you please call me as soon as you know something. Here is my home phone number, and here is my cell phine number.”

    Mr. Wainwright was sedated. I prayed for him and for the surgeon and for the nurses who would be helping. I concluded with the Lord’s Prayer.

    I returned home about 6 o’clock. After a supper of soup, left over piece of the sub sandwich, and hot tea, I went back to work on the sermon.

ESCAPE - Chapter 4

   Nathaniel and I went to a Mexican restaurant for supper. From there we went to the funeral parlor. It was 6:45 p.m., fifteen minutes before the time for public viewing and the parking lot was filled. When Nathaniel and I went into the viewing room, Matthew and Traci were having a row with the funeral director’s assistant. The assistant, Mr. Tomblin, is an older man. His own wife had died less than a year ago. He is rotund with a flushed face, dressed in a black suit, white shirt, and black tie. He was fidgeting nervously.

   “Why is my mother lying in a metal casket that looks like a war surplus ammunition box? I won’t stand for this. I will not have the people of this town come to see her laid out in a tin can. Take this casket out of here and when you come back, you had better have her in something that looks like fine wooden furniture. Don’t let people come in here until you do.”

   “But sir, that is the coffin your father chose when he made the arrangements for the funeral.”

   “That cheapskate doesn’t want to spend any more money than he has to. I suppose he is the one who told you that we didn’t need a family limousine for the day of the funeral. Well, I am not going to drive myself to the funeral home and the cemetery in a rental car like I was going to Walmart. There had better be a limousine to pick up five adults and two children at the motel tomorrow. Now, roll that scrap metal box out of here and bring my mother’s body back to this room in something we won’t be ashamed for people to see. GO!!”

   I went into the little room off the viewing room where there were some chairs and a coffee pot with foam cups. I sat down in a chair and buried my face in my hands and sobbed uncontrollably. I was embarrassed that Matthew would talk that way to a man I had known all the years we had lived in this town. I knew that the man could not move a body by himself, that the body and clothes would all have to be straightened again after it was put in another coffin. I was humiliated that one of my sons would change the arrangements that I had made.

   I was angry because Laura and I had discussed the topic of funerals and the probability that one of us would have to arrange a funeral for the other. We agreed that too much money was spent on a dead corpse in a box that was going to be buried in the ground. The real Laura was now absent from the body and present with the Lord. To spend a couple thousand dollars more on a wooden casket is vanity and a violation of the values Laura and I had shared throughout our life together. On top of it all, Matthew wouldn’t be paying for the fancy casket and family limousine. I would.

   Nathaniel put his hand on my shoulder.

   “Don’t cry for that jerk, Dad. Cry for Mom.”

   Philip and Molly arrived and wanted to know why the people were being kept outside and where was the body. I didn’t feel like telling them. I just shrugged my shoulders and buried my face and let myself cry for Laura, for losing dear Laura.

   When they brought Laura’s body back into the viewing room, it was in a wooden casket with inlaid wood and trimmed with gold handles and hardware. “Please, Lord, don’t let it be real gold or even gold plating.” Traci inspected the coffin. Then, with a look of satisfaction, she left.

   Molly lifted Billy and then Polly up so they could see Mamaw Laura. Then she left with them. I sat with our sons in chairs across from the coffin. Matthew looked pleased with himself. Tom was smirking. Philip and Nathaniel put up a brave front. As the people walked by us, many said things to us, but I didn’t hear or it didn’t register in my consciousness. Some of them pointedly walked by me and spoke only to the boys. One mean-spirited woman from my church, Mrs. Grimsley, actually said to me, “Well, are you satisfied?”

   About 8:15 Nathaniel had all that he could stand. He stood up and stomped out, shoving people out of his way. The people kept pouring in and the funeral home decided to stay open until 9:30 p.m. I wanted to believe that so many came to the viewing because of their regard for Laura. I feared that the real reason was curiosity created by the gossip. I was grateful when it was over. 

   When I came into the house, Nathaniel was not there. I guessed that he was out walking through the streets of the town. I left the door unlocked for whenever he would come in. I went to the bedroom, undressed, and lay in the bed continuing the sobbing that had been interrupted. All that had happened and all that I was feeling made me need Laura to talk with me. I cried even more for the dear one I had lost.

   The next morning the sanctuary was filled to capacity for the worship service. In the bulletin were the notice about refreshments after the service, and the notice about the funeral. Also in the bulletin was the notice of a called Session meeting on Wednesday at 7 p.m. I had not been informed and had not agreed to the calling of a special Session meeting. Strictly speaking it was not legal without my consent. Also, a called Session meeting is for a specified purpose, but that purpose was not stated in the bulletin.

   As I began the sermon, the excitement of what had been occurring during my visit with Mrs. Wrangle returned to me. I preached about the power of God to save our souls and to save us from our sins. I preached about the power of God to heal even when every medicine has failed. I quoted Hawkeye in a M*A*S*H episode when he answered Father Mulcahey’s question, “Do you believe God answers prayer?” “I don’t know, Father, I do know that sometimes I do things in the operating room that I really don’t know how to do.” Yes, the Son of man has come with healing in His wings. Then why doesn’t He heal everyone who prays to Him? The answer is that for some He exercises an even greater power, the power over death itself. I’m sure my wife Laura prayed many, many times for God to heal her of cancer. For His own purposes and glory, God’s answer was, No. BUT, the moment Laura died, she was taken up to glory to receive the inheritance God has kept for her and the home that Jesus has been preparing for her. She is now free of pain. God has wiped away all tears from her eyes. “O death, where is thy sting; O grave, where is thy victory?”

   After the service I went to the Fellowship Hall. A lot of people said things to me, but I was so drained from the service and sermon that I really didn’t know what they were saying. One woman’s remarks cut me to the quick.

   “I think it was very poor taste for you to bring your wife’s sufferings and death into the sermon.”    I was looking around the Fellowship Hall for Mr. Fike. I wanted to ask him about the irregular manner in which the special Session meeting was called. I also wanted to know the purpose of the meeting so that I could be prepared, but I did not see him.

   I left and went home. Nathaniel wasn’t there. I took a couple slices of cold pizza from the refrigerator and fixed a cup of instant coffee. After that repast, I went back to the bedroom, undressed because I still had to wear my suit to the funeral, and took a nap. I forgot to set the alarm. I was awakened by Nathaniel shaking me.

   “Get up Dad, it is only half an hour until the funeral.”

   I hurriedly dressed and ran out to the car. I had my Bible and service book with me. The organist had already started playing the prelude when I entered the sanctuary. I looked for Philip.

   “Did you ask your brothers who wanted to speak of their memories of your Mom?”

   “All but Tom want to speak. Tom says he would be too nervous. Hard to believe that of a lawyer.”

   I wished now that I had asked some other minister to conduct the funeral and burial service. I began the service by reading the obituary. I had an opening prayer. Then I read the verses on death and the resurrection that Laura had chosen. Next was the congregation singing Psalm 23.

   At that point I invited Philip to come forward and share some memories of his mother. Philip emphasized that his mother’s life goal was to make a happy home and raise children in an atmosphere of love. Matthew emphasized that their mother was the only one they could go to because their father was always so busy with work. Nathaniel said that his father and mother centered their lives and the family on Jesus Christ. He said that his mother had said repeatedly that she chose their father because she wanted to live with a man who was kind and good. He also recounted that his mother wrote to him every week until she could no longer do so.

   The remainder of the service was a blur. At the cemetery I went through the prayers and committal of the body to the grave. It was almost more than I could endure. Philip came up to me afterward and told me that we were going to the Italian restaurant in the next town and that the reservation was for 7 p.m. When Matthew found out that the restaurant did not serve drinks on Sunday, he was more than a little bit annoyed. Traci put a fifth of vodka in her purse.

   The food was not anything special. It was apparent that the eatery’s main attraction was that it served drinks the other days of the week. The fact that there weren’t many people in the restaurant seemed to substantiate that opinion. After the meal, Matthew stood up.

   “Okay, I won’t beat around the bush. Most of us have to head back to our homes tomorrow. Before we leave, I’d like for Dad to tell us what is in Mom’s will. I believe he is the executor of the will.”

   This caught me by surprise and I was annoyed. We had just put Laura’s casket into the ground several hours ago and here are her sons asking to know what she left them in her will. I stood up.

    “Sons, in your mother’s will it says that if I die before she does, then everything she owns is to be divided equally among her sons. If she dies first, whatever is in both our names – car, bank accounts, etc. goes to me. Whatever is her sole possession is to be divided equally among her sons. For all intents and purposes that means her inheritance from her Uncle Lyle. When she received that inheritance it amounted to $250,000. Right now it amounts to a little more than $30,000. It was her decision to use that inheritance for medical expenses. There will undoubtedly be medical bills that will still be coming in for the next month or so.”

   Tom asked, “Didn’t you have health insurance?”

   “Yes, but all health insurance has deductibles and limits. Health insurance did not pay for the reconstructive surgery or the complications arising from it. The aides were not paid by health insurance. If we did not have that inheritance and only had my salary, the State might have paid some of the cost of aides. The inheritance disqualified us.”

   “Why didn’t you use some of your salary for medical bills and aides?”

   “It was your mother’s decision to use the inheritance. She said the Lord knew we would need a lot of money to fight the cancer and that is why He put it in Uncle Lyle’s heart to give her that money.”

   “Then why did she tell us when she received it that she was saving it for her boys?”

   “That was her intention and that is why it was deposited in an account with her name only. But she didn’t have cancer when she said it.”

   “You claim that $220,000 was spent on medical bills. Do you have any proof of that statement?”

   “Within the next week or so I will send you each an itemized list of the medical bills paid out of Laura’s inheritance.”

   “I’ll be waiting.”

   “So will I.”

   “Since you think that I am so wealthy, I’ll pick up the bill on the way out. Have a safe journey home. I’ll continue praying for you as Laura and I did each evening as long as she was able to do so.”

   With that I walked out to the car. Nathaniel followed me home. We rode in silence.

   Nathaniel left early the next morning. We shook hands and he left. I did not hear any more from Matthew, Traci, or Tom. 

   Philip, Molly, Billy, and Polly came in mid-morning. Molly went through Laura’s closet and took some winter scarves, and some mittens. From her dresser drawer she took some fancy handkerchiefs. She asked if she could go through our photographs and take some of the photos of Laura. I told her to take what she wanted but to leave some for me.

   Later that day I tried to telephone Mr. Fike, but I received no answer. The same thing was true when I called on Tuesday. Monday is my day off. Tuesday I called Diane Johnson, the church secretary and told her that I would not be coming into the office Tuesday or Wednesday, but that if anyone came to the office and wanted to see me or if there were any phone messages to call me at home and I would either come to the office or answer the phone call from my home.

   I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday packing Laura’s clothes and other belonging into large plastic garbage bags which I then put into storage boxes. As I was going through her things I was looking for receipts. In a drawer in her dresser I found a 9x12 envelope labeled “Uncle Lyle’s Bequest”. Bingo. Inside she had checks and receipts in date order. I carried the envelope to my desk and put it in a drawer.

    I rented a storage unit in town and stacked the boxes of her belongings in it. I took what jewelry she had, including her engagement ring, and put them in our lock box at the bank.