CHANGE OF LIFE -Chapter 4

    The next morning Willard got up, and put on the uniform he had laid out the night before. He gathered up his dress uniform, went to the laundry basket, took out Dolores’ things, and put all the rest of the dirty laundry on one of the sheets from the bed. He put the other sheet from the bed and the pillow cases onto the sheet and made a bundle of the dirty laundry. On the way to work he dropped it all off at Comet Laundry-Drycleaner.  Going to the drive through at McDonalds he ordered two sausage biscuits and a cup of coffee for his breakfast.

He could do this. If Dolores didn’t want to live with him anymore, so be it. He would learn to manage on his own. After roll call, he went to the desk sergeant and filed a missing person report on Dolores. That day, driving around on patrol, he talked incessantly about Dolores’ leaving. Finally, his partner Patrolman Ginger Colvin said,

“Give it a rest, Willard. Give it a rest. She’s gone and talking about it won’t bring her back.”

“First Beverly, now Ginger. Dolores would have understood that I need to talk it out until I get it out of his system. Dolores understood me.”

 He really missed her now.

When he arrived home after his shift, Willard went directly to the kitchen. He took off his shirt, and turned on the water. When it started running hot, he filled the sink half full and added some liquid dish detergent. He found a clean dish rag and dish towel in the drawer next to the sink. After he washed several items and laid them out on the dish rack, he saw that they were soapy. He held each one under the hot water from the spigot. Then he tackled the frying pan. Then he let the water drain out of the sink, dried the dishes, and put them away. That was done.

He went upstairs, looked for clean sheets and pillow cases, and found them in the hall closet. It had been a long time since he had made up a bed – over twenty-five years ago in the Army. He knew how and he could do it. When it was made. It didn’t look as nice as when Dolores made the bed. It would have to do.

He put out all the items of uniform that he would need to wear tomorrow.  Now he could think about supper.

He looked for paper plates but couldn’t find any. He would just have to use plates and other items and wash them like he did tonight. He found bread, lunch meat, and some applesauce. There were cans of beer in the refrigerator. He took one. He made a meal on those items. Now to sit down in the living room and relax!

At ten o’clock he went upstairs. He took a shower before climbing into the bed with clean sheets. Clean sheets were always special the first night. He expected to go to sleep right away.

Instead, he lay awake remembering when he and Dolores had first met. He was in a new school, working four and five nights a week from the time school let out until ten o’clock. He drove a car delivering prescriptions for two drug stores. They were both named Stansbury Pharmacy. The pharmacy leased a car from a taxicab company. They did any maintenance that was required. When the car had 10,000 miles they took it and gave the pharmacy a new car.

His father took his salary from him. What his father didn’t know is that he got tips from most of the people to whom he delivered prescriptions. Will kept these tips. In fact Dr. Levin gave him a drawer behind the pharmacy counter where he could keep them.

He didn’t have many friends at this new school. The girls ignored him. Dolores had attracted his attention with some sharp, acid comments. She had acne on her face, but she kept her long hair brushed to a luxuriant sheen. Her eyes had a look of sadness, but they could sparkle like stars.

He decided to invite her out. That evening went well. In fact, she even took his hand while they were in the movie theatre. After they had dated for a while, when they were walking down the street, she had a way of grasping his arm above the elbow, and resting her head on his shoulder. They were a steady item all through that last year of high school.

Her mother as much as told her to try to get pregnant so that Will would marry her. She told Dolores that she would have to move out and find a job and a place of her own after graduation. That put pressure on their relationship. They would “pet” and go pretty far, but Will had decided that he was going to preserve her virginity. It would be her gift to him or whoever she married on their wedding night.

Willard went into the Army. After basic training, more training, and then experience as a military policeman, he was sent over to Germany for two years. Dolores was faithful in writing to him. She would write several times a week. She bought a Polaroid camera with a timer so that she could take sexy pictures of herself to send one at a time in her letters. When he returned, they were crazy in love, and they married.

Willard had saved money and so had Dolores. Will was hired as a patrolman by Prattsville, a small town in southern Arkansas. He used his savings as down payment on a two bedroom home. Dolores used her savings for furniture. They were happy to be in their own home. They wanted a baby to make their joy complete. 

The first years of their married life they were so in love. He couldn’t wait to see her at the end of his shift. On his days off they took day trips, camping trips, went hiking, anything to be together. Their sex life was happy and wild. Dolores was game for anything. Their sex nearly always ended with both of them laughing or giggling or tickling each other.

Then the joyful day arrived when Dolores announced that she was pregnant. Several months later it ended in a miscarriage. The doctor told them that Dolores had to avoid getting pregnant for six months. They were careful and waited before started trying again. This time it was eight months more before she again became pregnant. That pregnancy also ended in a miscarriage. The doctor advised waiting a half year or more. By now their sex was becoming awkward. The freedom was gone. The excitement and hope was fading. Will started feeling like he was somehow causing injury to her. He didn’t know whose fault the miscarriages were. Marriage wasn’t what he thought that it would be.

Over the next two years there was another miscarriage and then a tubal pregnancy. At that point the doctor advised that they stop trying to have a baby. Willard wondered,

“If we were living in a big city, were still living in Baltimore, would a doctor there be able tell us what is wrong?”

Willard would not say, he would not consciously think, that Dolores was to blame. But that that is how he started to treat her. She accepted his “punishment”, because, subconsciously, she accepted that it was her fault that they couldn’t have children.

More and more he talked mean to her. He stopped taking her places. He criticized nearly everything she did. With that realization he fell into a troubled sleep tossing and turning all night. The next morning the clean sheets were rolled up and twisted.

Willard found a box of instant oatmeal in the kitchen cabinet and put several packets in a bowl. He made a cup instant coffee. Tomorrow and the next day were his days off. He would have time to plan the meals for the coming week, and determine what other housework had to be done.

After roll call he checked with the desk sergeant. There had been no responses to the missing person report. Next he went to his captain.

“Captain, my wife walked out on me a couple days ago. I don’t know why or where she went. Could I have permission to make some inquiries while I am out on patrol today?”

“Sure, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the performance of your duties.”    

Out in the patrol car he said,

“Ginger, I know that you asked me to give it a rest, but I want to ask your help. My wife left the bank carrying a suitcase and $4000. Maybe she was being forced to do it. But suppose she just wanted to get out of town. How could she do it?”

“She could have hired someone to drive her to Pine Bluff or some other nearby city such as El Dorado or Monroe. From there she could have gotten on a bus. Pine Bluff, Pine Bluff. There is a shuttle from the hospital that takes senior citizens to their appointments with specialists in those offices surrounding the regional hospital.”

“Let’s go ask the driver.”

When they got to the hospital, the shuttle had just pulled up. Willard jumped out of the patrol car, and walked up to the shuttle bus. The driver opened the door.

“Sergeant O’Reilly. I saw your wife a couple days ago. She had a suitcase with her and said that she had to see Doctor Pepperdine. How is she doing?”

“I don’t know. Where did she go when she got off the shuttle?”

“She went right into the hospital through the Emergency Room doors.”

“Thank you.”

He knew that she went as far as Pine Bluff. He would ask her doctor if he had referred her to a doctor, and if he had ever heard of a Dr. Pepperdine. Meanwhile, if she went farther, it would probably be by bus. He would check with the credit card to see if it was used to buy a bus ticket, and if so, maybe the bus company could tell him to where. Those were things that he could do from home tomorrow. There was no point in asking around town any more. He knew that she went to Pine Bluff, and he knew how she got there.