ESCAPE - Chapter 2

   The following year we decided to spend one week visiting with each of our sons and their families. We went to visit Philip first. Laura and Molly spent most of the time talking, and working in the garden and kitchen. I spent as much time as I could with the grandchildren. Billy and Polly both have small horses. They love to ride. Billy was trying to learn to lasso. He practiced on me. Polly is shy. She would work for a long time making a daisy chain necklace or hollyhock dolls and then would bring them to me for my approval and praise.

   When we went to visit Nathaniel, he was not able to sit still for long. He took us sightseeing most of the time we were with him. He put us in a motel and took us to eat in cafes and restaurants. We never saw his quarters. After several days he told us that he would be out on a field problem for about a week. We left and decided to go to Mobile, Alabama to sightsee for the rest of Nathan’s week.

   From Mobile it was an easy drive to Atlanta, Georgia where Thomas is a lawyer. Tom is shorter than the rest of his brothers. He is thin and wiry. Tom’s wife Ofelia is a Cuban-American. Her father was a lawyer in Cuba before Castro took over. After the Communist takeover, he had to work as a plumber’s assistant. They escaped to America when Ofelia was twelve. She went to high school and college in America. Ofelia is a very attractive woman. She has dark hair, dark eyes, and an attractive body. 

   Ofelia is a fervent Catholic believer and has insisted on their children being raised in the   Catholic Church and going to Catholic schools. Tom doesn’t attend the Catholic Church; he no longer attends any church. They have three daughters Claudia, Mariela, and Elena. Tom had wanted one of his daughters to be named Laura, but Ofelia refused because Laura isn’t Catholic. Our visit there was uncomfortable. The girls sensed their mother’s disapproval of us and were polite but not open and warm toward us. We had gone to the wedding and met Ofelia and her parents. Tom and Ofelia had never visited, so it was the first time the girls met us.

   Our son Matthew lives in Charlotte, North Carolina where he is an accountant. Matthew is the image of a successful business man. His suits and shoes look expensive. Matthew and his wife belong to a country club where he plays golf and his wife plays tennis. His wife Traci comes from a wealthy family and she had been a debutante. She is very attractive and dresses like a fashion plate. Traci was very warm and friendly to us but somewhat condescending. Their two boys, Frank - ten years old and Rudolf - eleven are rough and ready. We all went from Charlotte to the Outer Banks and stayed in a house Traci’s family owns. I enjoyed going to the Wright Brothers museum and to the lighthouses with Matthew and the boys. Laura and Traci visited the ornamental garden and went shopping.

   It was a tiring trip and we were glad to come back home. Laura had a garden that summer. It was her last year of happy memories. The next year her cancer returned.

   We went back to the A.D. Anderson Clinic in Houston. The doctors there told us that the cancer had metastasized. They had an experimental treatment which they tried. At first there seemed to be improvement, but it did not have any lasting effect. We returned to Arkansas. Laura tried to keep going. Everyone had some suggestion they had read about or a relative had tried. She had dark circles around her eyes. She lost weight and didn’t have an appetite. Still she kept trying to go on. She would put clothes in the washer and then sit down to rest. Sometimes food would burn on the stove because she just didn’t have strength to get up and go into the kitchen to turn off the stove.

   It reached the point where she couldn’t get out of bed. I signed up for an aide to come three times a week for two hours. As the cancer progressed she had more and more pain. The doctor prescribed pain pills. I gave those to her myself. I didn’t trust the aides. I had heard stories of pain pills being stolen from patients by aides who would sell them. Gradually I had to have aides to spend more time until they were there every day from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Even with the help of aides it was hard for me to keep up my work as pastor. It made it harder for me that every member I visited wanted to talk about Laura.

   In the beginning of July, Laura’s doctor, Dr. Rumfeldt said to me,

“In my opinion Laura’s condition is terminal. There is no more treatment for it. All that we can do now is keep her comfortable. Her pain has reached the level that she needs morphine. That has to be administered by a nurse. The nurse will teach you to inject the morphine, but that will only be necessary in unusual circumstances. Call the Delta Hospice Center. Tell them that I am authorizing hospice care for her. They will come to your house, explain their services and have you sign the necessary papers. I want you to understand that in authorizing hospice care, I am certifying that her condition is terminal and that she only has a matter of months to live. I’m sorry Reverend Sterner.”

   That was less than four months ago. The disease continued to eat away at her body and spirit. She was in pain and miserable all the time. She could barely speak and her mind could not compose what she wanted to say. Only her eyes spoke the depths of what she could not say audibly.

   The door bell rang. I went to the door. It was the hospice nurse Patsy Godwin. Patsy is quite chubby. She is always dressed neatly and has her nails done every week. Since it is near Hallowe’en, today she has her nails painted like little jack o’ lanterns.

   “Reverend Sterner, I am so sorry for your loss. I want to wash the body. Then I will collect our equipment. Meanwhile, you can be gathering up Laura’s medications, especially the morphine and other narcotics. I will give you a copy of the inventory of equipment I collect and a list of the medications and their amounts that you return. I will give you signed copies and you will have to sign my copies. Keep them in a safe place. If there is any question later on about either the equipment or the medications, you will have proof of what you returned.”

   I went into my study and got the medicines from a locked container. I returned to the living room and placed them on the coffee table. Patsy made several trips to her car carrying medical equipment from Laura’s room. In about a half hour she came into the living room. She had a form which listed all of Laura’s medicines. She counted each pill or capsule. She counted the number of vials of morphine and estimated the amount that remained in one vial that was half full. She signed both forms and asked me to sign them. Then she gave me a copy of each.

   “You are a preacher and I’m sure you would be able to say something comforting if you were in my place. All I can say is that I’d better not say any more or I’ll start crying. I’m sorry to say goodbye to Laura. She was so sweet.”

   She left the house with tears in her eyes.

   No more than ten minutes later Dr. Rumfeldt came to the house.

   “Rev. Sterner I left my office for a few minutes to come here to see you personally. I have a lot of respect for you. I have seen dozens of preachers come and go in this town. You are one of the best. The reason I left my office is that my nurse told me that gossip started by Mrs. Koontz has spread like wildfire. She has told it around town that Laura was screaming for help and ringing her bell, but you slept through it or maybe weren’t even home. She is telling that Laura died because you didn’t come to her aid. 

   "I want you to know that Laura wasn’t strong enough to scream. Her mouth was open because she was trying to breathe, but couldn’t. She reached for the bell, but died before she could ring it. You would have woke up if she had rang that bell. You have been very faithful in caring for her. I know you are going to be hurt by this gossip. That is why I am here to tell you that I don’t think she called out or rang the bell. If she had done both and you had run to her room, there is nothing you could have done to save her. She lived a lot longer than I expected. You did all that you could. I hope you can find comfort and peace in that.”

   The coroner came shortly after Dr. Rumfeldt left. He was here such a short time that I didn’t catch his name and I don’t remember what he looked like. All I remember is that he said the cause of death was “Cancer resulting in multiple organ failure.” I called the funeral home and about an hour later they came to pick up the body. They told me that I could come down to the funeral home at my convenience to make the arrangements.

   Next, I called Mr. Fike, the Clerk of Session at the First Presbyterian Church. I told him that Laura died, that I thought the funeral would be Sunday afternoon at 4 p.m. at the Church. I asked him to have that notice put in the bulletin and to notify the other members of the Session.

“Sure Preacher Sterner. I sure am sorry to hear about Laura. Too bad you slept through it all.”

The doctor was right. The gossip had spread like wildfire. The thing about gossip is that it doesn’t require any proof. It just has to sound exciting, alarming, or shocking.

   I had an obituary which I had prepared after Laura went into hospice care. I filled in the date of her death and that she had died at home. I put down Saturday 7 p.m. – 9 p.m. at the funeral home as the time for public viewing and Sunday 4 p.m. at First Presbyterian Church as the time for the funeral.

   I took the obituary to the newspaper. This was the first time I had been out of the house. I noticed many people looking at me strangely. The gossip…..

   Back home I picked up the phone and called Philip, Thomas, and Matthew. I called the Red Cross to get the sad news to Nathaniel. This was Thursday. I told them all that we would tentatively schedule the funeral for Sunday afternoon. If it would take Nathaniel longer than that to travel home, we would have to move the day forward.

  That evening I heard from Nathaniel:

   “Dad, I got your message from the Red Cross today. The Army is making arrangements for me to fly home. I’ll probably fly into Memphis and rent a car. You can expect to see me Saturday sometime. Dad, I’m going to miss Mom. Even after she was bedridden she wrote to me every week. Every week, Dad! You can’t imagine how much that meant to me. I love you, Dad. You are a straight shooter – always have been. Mom said time and again that she married you because you are good and kind.”

   I walked around the house. It felt empty.

   Later that evening I received calls from Philip, Tom, and Matthew. Philip and Molly were the only ones bringing their children. Tom was coming alone. Matthew and Traci were coming, but were leaving their boys with the grandparents. They would all be in town Friday evening except Nathaniel who wouldn’t arrive until Saturday.

   I must try to contact Laura’s relatives. I’ll look through Laura’s address book and see if she has any of them in it.

   That night I went to bed but I couldn’t sleep. Why wasn’t I awake like this last night? The doctor and the hospice nurse told me that there is nothing that I could have done. My mind could accept what they said, but my conscience accused me in words similar to the gossip that Avril Koontz is spreading around town. I tossed and turned all night. I don’t know whether I slept or not.

   Friday morning I fixed some instant oatmeal and instant coffee for my breakfast. I went to my study and had my private devotions. Afterward I dressed in a suit and went to the funeral home. The receptionist took me back to Mr. Yarmouth’s office. I gave him the clothes that Laura had picked out months ago. I tried to order a funeral that was modest in cost. I chose one of the “inexpensive” coffins and told him that we would not need a family limousine since we all have cars. I told him the viewing would be Saturday 7 – 9 p.m. and that the funeral would be in the First Presbyterian Church at 4 p.m. on Sunday. Laura and I bought two graves at the cemetery of Hazelwood Presbyterian Church out in the country ten miles from town. That is where she will be buried following the funeral. I gave him a life insurance policy on Laura for $15,000 to guarantee payment for the funeral.

   When I returned home, I went to my study and looked for an old sermon that I could use on Sunday. In the midst of my search the phone rang. It was Mr. Wrangle. He was at the hospital.

   “Preacher, I’m here at the hospital. My wife Deborah is doing poorly. I sure would appreciate it if you would come over and read some Bible and pray over her. The doctor is doing all that he can do. I think he could use some help.”

   My duty as a minister over rode any personal feelings or needs. I agreed to come right away.