LONELINESS AND THE ELDERLY

Loneliness has always been part of growing old.  It is moving toward the end of life, which is a step we all take alone.

Old age is a time when our closest friends and loved ones are dying one by one.  As each one passes from this life and our life, there is one less person who shared memories with us, who understood us, whose care for us gave our person worth.

Old age is a time of diminishing capacities.  We cannot see as well, hear as much, think as quickly, even do normal, routine functions smoothly and effortlessly as we once could.  This makes us a nuisance or at least a duty, to those around us.  Respect for the elderly is a mantle of protection which unraveled a generation ago.  The young push us away from them as useless and a burden.  At best they leave us alone.  At worst they put us in institutions with euphemistic names, exorbitant costs, and prison-like environments.

In a society that is built around the automobile, what does an old person do when they are no longer able to drive or can no longer afford to drive?  How can they go to the stores or to the doctor?  Public transportation belonged to previous generations.  It exists only in large cities now. 

There are no longer neighbors sitting on porches or park benches.  Everyone is inside with the television.  The television provides a virtual family to lonely old people.  They look forward to the ghosts on the screen as they once looked forward to seeing family members come down the stairs or in the front door.  But ghosts can’t hug, or listen, or cry with you.

Modern society has fragmented families, scattering them all over the country like Buddha’s feathers.  For a while the older person may try to reconnect with family by making trips to visit them (picking up the feathers).  As age advances that becomes harder and harder to do.

In the end the old person sits alone.  Even his/her memories no longer keep company for they too have faded.  All there is to do is wait.